Those straws you’ve been clutching onto… Stick one in a bottle and relax! 

Those straws you’ve been clutching onto… Stick one in a bottle and relax! 

It’s only going to happen when they’re ready.

I’ve read every sleep book:

  • The gentle sleep book
  • The complete sleep guide
  • The baby sleep guide
  • The baby whisperer
  • The contented little baby book


I Googled weekly: “why won’t my X week old sleep”  and “how to get your baby to sleep through”
I’ve had maternity nurses. I’ve read Gina fucking Ford. Ewan the “dream” sheep – we’ve had at least 5 of those (I think we used them so much they kept breaking).

I remember when Lily first slept through* I replicated the next evening EXACTLY how the successful night was… it was definitely down to the pyjamas she had on so they would remains on her FOREVER!

*I want to add when I say sleeping through I mean 6pm to 6am (ok 5.30am) none of this 5-6 hours in a row bollocks (according to paediatricians that is sleeping through)  I mean the WHOLE night.  However I wouldn’t knock 5/6 hours sleep in a row, but who goes to bed when their baby does? 2 words guys… LOVE ISLAND.

Joking aside – lack of sleep is torture and you become OBSESSED!! If you are a twin mum you deserve that spa day/week and/or Chanel bag… I have been up ALL night on more than one occasion with the twins alternating hourly.  If I did the sleep torture part of the SAS recruitment process I would win, HANDS DOWN, on paper, literally (as Amber would say (love island reference again))

What works for me to get the babies sleepy and happy

  • Bath, massage, clean pjs, milk (as much milk as possible) and bed.
  • Babies LOVE routine and the sooner you can establish a bedtime routine the better. I did this from about 3/4 weeks.
  •  I use the Bloom and Blossom baby sleep products. (Oh my god… if you close your eyes for a second you’ll be transported to you last memories of the best spa day of your life… if you’ve got a good enough imagination!)
  • I use Mustella baby shampoo which is absolute and heaven.  They do a baby perfume (I know ridiculous… but it’s incredible and I use it as my perfume!)
    Bathtime is my absolute favourite and even more so with the twins. It gives me complete one on one time.
  • White noise (like I said not Ewan, you have to hit the leg every 15 minutes!) I’m talking a free app.  It’s called sleepy sounds. The twins like heavy rain, but other options are the vacuum or tumble dryer which are both particularly horrific in equal measure. I use my iPad for this and put it on aeroplane mode.
  • Dummies – I used to think these were really chavvy. NOW they are the elixir of my life.  Although at some point (when I have more energy) I must get rid of Lily’s! I always said when she’s 2!  I have 6 weeks…

My advice for what it’s worth.

  • Try to get in place a good day routine with enough milk and sleep.
  • Buy some decent coffee or a coffee machine.
  • Stock up on Berroca… after all it’s YOU but on a really good day (unless you’ve got twins, then the best it’ll make you feel is average!)
  • My twins didn’t take well to the dream feed, it just added another feed and the majority of people I’ve spoken to, it didn’t work for them either. But it’s trial and error and it may work for you.
  • And obviously buy some good wine, although a glass of wine on no sleep can make you feel like you’ve been drugged. And not in a good way.

But ultimately in my opinion and the opinion of the professional help I have had… It’ll happen when THEY are ready.

Sleep well everyone; I won’t! x


One thought on “Those straws you’ve been clutching onto… Stick one in a bottle and relax! 

  1. Great advice in this post! I would add to Berroca (which I can no longer live without) – Starbucks One Shot espresso can. I can’t function without it. And NO eye contact during wake up times during the night xx


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